The Horse Shaped Hole

Not every goodbye is spoken.
Not every loss is seen.
But every equestrian carries it.

The Grief No Rider Talks About—Until Now.

If you’ve ever lost a horse—or your dreams with one—you’re not alone. This book is for you.

The Grief No Rider Talks About. Until Now.

The Horse-Shaped Hole is for every equestrian facing a grief few people understand.
Whether your loss was sudden, slow, or silent, this book gives you words when the world feels empty—and hope when the saddle feels cold.

Inside, you’ll find:

The psychology of horse loss and invisible grief
Healing practices for the body, mind, and heart
Includes bonus chapters
Bonus material: 30 day Journal prompt
Bonus material: over 90 grief reframes

Order The Horse-Shaped Hole

Testimonies

Grief doesn't have to be silent. Let this book be your companion through the darkness.

"Every page felt like it was written straight from my own broken heart. Finally, someone understands the grief we carry as riders." C.H.

"I thought I had to just 'move on.' This book showed me how to honor the bond I had—and the love that never really leaves." K.S.

"It was the first time I didn’t feel crazy for grieving a horse like family. This book gave me permission to mourn—and to heal." P.R.

"I didn’t think anyone could put into words what it felt like to lose him. This book didn’t try to fix my grief — it sat with it. It let me cry, it let me remember, it let me feel less alone. Every page felt like a conversation I didn’t even know I needed." E.B.

"My mare is still alive, but I don't know if she'll ever be the same. Living in the in-between was tearing me apart. The Horse-Shaped Hole gave me permission to grieve what I've already lost — even if there’s still hope. It made me feel seen in a way no vet report ever could." T.U.

"At first, I couldn’t even look at this book. I was so raw, so broken, I thought even touching it would hurt too much. But when I finally opened it, it didn’t hurt — it held me. It didn’t rush me or fix me. It just sat beside me in the quiet, exactly where I was. I’m grateful I found it when I did." I.B.

Let Your Grief Be Seen, Held, and Understood

What You'll Learn

The hidden layers of equestrian grief—and why they cut so deep
How sudden loss shatters more than dreams—and how to breathe through the aftermath
Understanding the nervous system’s grief—why your body carries what your heart can’t say
How to carry your love forward without forcing yourself to “move on”

Walk Through the Grief

Meet The Author

Esther Adams has lived her life between the saddle and the soul.

An equestrian since the age of 8 years old, she now lives on a small Arabian breeding farm, as well as training her warmbloods in classical dressage, and tends to the quiet spaces where grief often lingers.

A trauma-informed therapist and the founder of Strides to Solutions, Esther holds a doctorate in psychology and a lifelong understanding that grief is not something to "get over"—it is something we learn to carry, reshape, and honor.

The Horse-Shaped Hole was born from that knowing:
That some losses have hooves.
That some goodbyes are never spoken aloud.
That healing doesn’t begin with forgetting—it begins with remembering, differently.

Today, Esther continues to ride, write, and walk beside those who carry invisible grief—the kind only a horse can leave behind.