What is self-doubt and what we can do to get rid of self-doubts?
Do you struggle to feel sure of yourself? Do you often question your beliefs or attitudes? Or do you often wonder if you've made the right decisions? Then you may be experiencing self-doubt.
Self-doubt is a state of uncertainty about the truth of anything about ourselves. It could be about our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, opinions, decisions, self-views, or any "truth" we hold in our minds. Overall, we may have a sense that we’re not stable and we may find ourselves questioning our own self-competence (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012).
If we are someone who has a lot of self-doubts, we may vacillate back and forth when judging our own abilities. At some times, we may expect poor performance and at other times we may expect excellent performance. In other words, we have difficulty confidently stating our level of competence (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012).
Do You Have Self-Doubt?
Here are some questions (Oleson, Poehlmann, Yost, Lynch, & Arkin, 2000) you can ask yourself to see if you’re experiencing self-doubt:
Do you feel unsure about yourself?
Do you lack confidence about the outcomes of your efforts?
Are you unsure about your level of competence?
How We Generally Deal With Self Doubt
Because self-doubt is such an unpleasant experience, we often deal with it in automatic and unconscious ways—some of which can be good and others bad. Here are a few of these ways:
Self-handicapping. Self-handicapping is a defensive strategy that helps us blur the reasons for our mistakes or failures. Using drugs, alcohol, and procrastination are examples of self-handicaps that enable us to blame our struggles on something other than our incompetence. Unfortunately, this strategy often just leads to worsening self-doubt (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012).
Overachievement. Overachievement is a strategy that helps prevent mistakes and failures. If we are self-doubting, we might not believe that our regular efforts or competence alone will be enough to succeed. So we put in a huge amount of effort. Unfortunately, we still might struggle with self-doubt because we have no way of knowing whether it was the extra effort or our competence that made us successful (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012).
Imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is when we feel like the success we've experienced is not an accurate reflection of our underlying abilities. We've done well, but we're afraid we can't keep up or compete with other people who are at our level. We might credit our success to luck, timing, or good fortune (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012).
How to Overcome Self Doubt
Unconditional self-worth. Try to cultivate a sense that your worth is neither increased nor decreased by external factors like the way people treat you, your decisions, or the amount of money you make.
Unconditional love. Have permanent love for yourself.
Growth. Develop desirable personal qualities and build your strengths.
Use positive self-talk. Say things to yourself that are kind, positive, or supportive.
Use affirmations. For example, you might say, "I am strong and capable", "I am doing my best and that is enough", or "I am capable of anything I put my mind to".
You may also want to ask yourself these questions:
How might you maintain confidence in yourself even when you make mistakes or experience failure?
How might you maintain confidence in yourself even when you are treated poorly or not given unconditional love from others?
Thinking through these questions and developing a mindset that helps you maintain your self-worth may help self-doubts from taking over.
In Sum
Self-doubt can be an uncomfortable and problematic thought process. Luckily, there are some things we can do to start overcoming self-doubt and moving forward with more confidence.
References
Braslow, M. D., Guerrettaz, J., Arkin, R. M., & Oleson, K. C. (2012). Self‐doubt. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6(6), 470-482.
Oleson, K. C., Poehlmann, K. M., Yost, J. H., Lynch, M. E., & Arkin, R. M. (2000). Subjective overachievement: Individual differences in self‐doubt and concern with performance. Journal of personality, 68(3), 491-524.